No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
