Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
be right there i have to get my cape
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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