So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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