i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
