the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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