Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
