she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
