i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
