Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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