So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
