I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
