I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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