Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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