you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
