Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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