Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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