I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
