the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
