There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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