Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
