At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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