You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
