You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
