I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
