She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
