Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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