Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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