i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
