Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
