I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
