ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
