After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
