just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
