so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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