is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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