Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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