Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
