Kiss
Puke
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
