yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize