i already hear my dad disowning me
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
