I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Hello my rib-scented angel!
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
