nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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