she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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