With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
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