we're blogging at a bar
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
