3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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