She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
