The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
