if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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