Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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