I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
