Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize