She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
