I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
