i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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