How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
