I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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