How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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