I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
