dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I have demons in me.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
