did you get engaged???
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
