Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
