Old men and throwing up are my life now.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
