his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
i need some magic done to my vagina
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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