Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
