Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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