rhymes with "ouble enetration"
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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