My friends, they love my intelligence
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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