but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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